blame it on the retrograde

It's haunting where music can take you and how it will make you feel - depending on the tune. It's midnight and my mind is restless as the opening two chords are strung, passion envelopes my ears:

"..take you down another level, get you dancing with the devil.."

I'm taken back to an exact moment in time that seems so real because at one time it was my reality. I can taste the air.. touch that person.. feel the emotion.. all over again. These songs are apart of what has made me who I am today. They are the beauty and beast all wrapped into a chorus, bridge, and verse; waiting to dance through my ears and into my mind.

Many times when those songs creep up on me I'll instantly push away the idea in fear of what memories my mind will somehow replay. Maybe it's mercury in retrograde.. but tonight I've chosen to immerse myself in the eeriness that comes with his words.

Will you join me?

the learner

I had dreamt of this day since I was thirteen years old browsing the BLDG 25 blog after school. And this long awaited, seemingly unrealistic dream was actually becoming a reality. I had chills all over my body as I pulled into the Navy Yard... I was finally here.

///

I believe there are two types of people in this world: learners and losers.

Both are faced with defeat yet learning dusts off its knees, walking on; all while losing waits to be helped up and pointed to the nearest exit.

Maybe I lost this one. But man, did I learn a lot.

I learned that I actually (kinda) know what the hell I'm doing.  And, I learned that I belong in that scene surrounded by those like-minded women who love music, art, and self expression just as much as I do. Speaking with Chrissy and De, my interviewers, was so inspiring because for quite sometime now I've thought I was pretty nuts for loving a brand as much as I love Free People.

It's a movement, y'all. 

I don't understand life and why it throws what it throws at us. But I know that for whatever reason I'm not meant to be in Philly this Summer and that's ok with me because, as cliche as it sounds, I feel it in my heart that I am FP Cat. So, in the meantime, I've made it my priority to work even harder on increasing my photography and editing skills, to write more on physical paper (and online, of course), and to study even harder - all in preparation for the day I get to call BLDG 25 my permanent home.

That being said.. I encourage all of you to go with that feeling no matter how farfetched it appears.
I guarantee that you will get knocked down in the process; but it's up to you to pull yourself together and use that curveball to your advantage.

Be the learner.

xx,

airport thoughts

All for the sake of a charged cell phone (yeah, I'm addicted - you are too), I'm currently sitting indian style under an arctic blast. So many thoughts and emotions are running through my mind as I await for my flight to board.. gratitude, regret, pride, ect. As I sit under this vent freezing my ass off, here are a few of the thoughts that are currently running through my head:

1. In an iAge, why does the airport not supply FREE wifi?
2. I'm so so grateful for the people I'm surrounded by at this point in my life. They continuously inspire and encourage me whether they realize it or not.
3. I genuinely love my ex-boyfriend's band and I'm not ashamed to say it (shout out to cold cold sweats - check 'em out). I've played their EP three times today and it's only noon.
4. I've never felt so "where I belong" then when I drove into The Navy Yard. I'm meant to be there whether it's this Summer or two years from now. I will be "FP Cat" some day.
5. That being said... ^ I went to the FP home base, y'all!!! ^
6. This air is stupid cold.
7. I have a newfound passion for Indian food and Rice Pudding.
8. I danced to Migos {a lone} for about five minutes in the Top Shop dressing room.
9. It smells like gasoline in here. Uhm help?
10. If you ever start doubting yourself and your capabilities just give me a call. This experience has widened my viewpoint on life while strengthening the belief that I have for myself and for others. We are each capable of reaching for the stars and landing among them - don't ever tell yourself other wise.
(But more to come on this soon)

Lastly, shout out to James for being an open to anything and everything travel partner. And, most importantly, for making this trip possible. <3 Pay off your credit cards, people, you may just get a practically free trip to NYC one day.

xx,

the deep end

It's the moment that brings you to your knees, physically shaking yet internally numb.
Thoughts race through your head questioning everything (and everyone) you've ever believed in or worked towards.

"Resist the urge to run. It’s okay to feel like you’re out of your depth. The deep end is where you really prove to yourself that you can swim." -BLDG25*

The deep end is haunting, dark and extremely beautiful.
Without the dark, how could we appreciate the light?

tunesday

I've been a fan of Jack White's work for quite sometime - White Stripes, Dead Weather, The Raconteurs and of course his solo albums. His magical hand touched it? I dig it.

Recently, I decided to check out what his label, Third Man Records, had to offer. One album in particular was mesmerizing and just.. bad ass. 

That bad ass goes by the name Olivia Jean. 

Her lyrics display a 90's, No Doubt attitude whilst accompanied by Third Man style musicianship. If you're unfamiliar with Jack White and his label's sound, it's very southern-meets-rock 'n roll - guitar whaling, off the wall drum beats and some pretty sweet action on the keys.

Her debut solo album, Bathtub Love Killings, invites the listener in with Mistakes; a realistic tale of struggling with one's past while everyone is eager to watch you fall. So, we all keep an alibi in mind for when the judge decides to ask why.

"But in this crowd you must push and shove
Hide away your heart and change your name
To escape the shame"

Reminisce, the third track on the album, is my personal favorite. The rhythm grabs ahold of you, creating the sudden urge to hit the road and just... go.

"..before it's too late. You can't wait"

Honorable mentions: Excuses, Green Honeycreeper, After the Storm

monday vibes

It may be monday.. but there's only eight days standing between Christmas break and I.
So why not get your groove on?

Pictured below is the mood board I created for my Free People engagement marketing intern application (which I turned in yesterday).

As many of you know, becoming a part of the Free People company has been a life-long dream of mine. That being said, good vibes and/or prayers would be oh so greatly appreciated. 

enough

Everyday we are faced with challenges that make us feel as if we're too weak, too ugly or not smart enough. At that moment we begin to doubt our self-worth.

We allow the beast to enter in.

The beast makes you question what you did wrong and how you can fix yourself.

Rather than stopping to think that maybe it, in fact, wasn't you.. me.. all a long..

It rips every part of who you once were while replacing it with what it wants you to be.

You are far more than enough. 

I am far more than enough.

And, if they can't figure that out then quite frankly they can go f$%* themselves. 

Because you (and I) are beautiful, smart, cunning and pretty damn funny.

Now push play and immerse yourself in these words.

We are enough.